Obama shot dead: Sources

U.S. President Mr. Barack Obama has been shot dead by U.S. troops in Abbottabad,  a place 61 km from Islamabad, the capital city of Pakistan.

Mr. Obama in happier times, never knew what hit him.

Hearing the news, people across the world have come out on the streets for celebrations. Republicans in America, the Al-Qaeda in Afghanistan, the ISI in Pakistan and some parts of the Arab World are holding anti-Obama rallies in their respective countries, as supporters cheer on.

"It's a day for celebration, perhaps even bigger than the death of Osama!" says a Sarah Palin supporter.

According to unnamed sources, the news was first flashed in a popular news channel that prefers to remain anonymous for security reasons. "Yes, it's true. Somebody flashed Obama had been shot dead in the head in the news flash. It was on air for several minutes,"  the source said.

English translation: Obama has been shot in the head

Al-Qaeda, the militant organisation founded by Osama bin Laden, has claimed responsibility for the killing of a man who was ranked "the most powerful in the world" by Forbes magazine. It claimed responsibility in a letter addressed to Chinese President Hu Jintao.

Mr. Jintao was unavailable for comment. But his spokesperson said, "Mr Jintao was named the second-most powerful man in the world. And it pinched." Now with the U.S. President eliminated, by default, Mr. Jintao rises to the first position. 

Sources say that interns working for Al-Qaeda, were the first to "chance upon the news while uploading their cave pictures on Facebook ". 

"We ardently follow this news website and when we saw this news, our happiness knew no bounds. We jumped from our seats to tell our bosses. We thought we might get hired or get a stipend at least," said Jaish-e-Mohammad*, an intern .

Sources say the website is run by the same news organization that had flashed the news earlier on their television channel.

"Someone I can't name did write that Obama has been pronounced dead on the website too,"  said the website's sub-editor Ms. Pinky Singh*.

As more controversial reports pour in, what remains to be seen is whether it was a silly joke made by a disgruntled employee or were they in fact innocent mistakes made under pressure?

While the whole world waits for an answer, Ms. Singh is quick to add, "Somebody's gonna get a hurt real bad!" 

(*names have been changed)